I don’t know about you, but I’m at the point in my quarantine where I throw up my hands and say “Uncle.” I give up. I tried to do the impossible—and I failed.
A lot of us are feeling like failures these days. We were given the opportunity to work from home. Wake up without an alarm clock and wear yoga pants all day. It sounded like a dream job.
Except that our kids would be home. And our spouses or significant others would be there too. And just one more thing— we need to simultaneously homeschool, entertain, and occupy our kids all day—inside. Without seeing any friends, neighbors or relatives.
No problem, we thought. We got this. And many of us bought board games and crafts. We planned lazier days making memories together during “The Great Pause.”
But then the Zoom meetings started. And the emails tripled. They came at all hours, and there was no clear beginning or end to our day.
Then came the kids’ assignments. Videos to watch. Google Forms to complete. Class Hangouts to attend. With only one spare computer, my kids fought like marines over the technology, resulting in epic meltdowns and tears—for all of us.
Those of us with elementary-age kids know they can’t do the work on their own. So, large chunks of my day are spent sitting with them—focusing and re-focusing their attention. Trying to keep them on track, while my mind worries about the mountain of my own emails that are surely piling up.
So, we juggle and move faster. We start setting an alarm, getting up earlier or staying up later. Shushing our kids more. Instructing them to keep quiet and wishing they’d just go play video games. Our heads are spinning, but we need to show our bosses we can do it. We need to show the teachers we are capable. We need to do the impossible.
But, we can’t.
The Great Pause has given way to exasperated, exhausted and defeated working parents. Parents who feel like failures, because they failed to do the impossible.
This week, my son’s homeschool assignment is to create a quarantine time capsule. I’m worried the memories I hoped he’d have, and those he will actually remember, look very different. I’m worried his memories of quarantine will be stressed out parents, fighting over Google Classroom assignments, and a house that never stayed picked up.
I think it’s time we all say “Uncle.” It’s time we start cutting ourselves some slack. Giving ourselves a break and realizing there is no shame in not doing the impossible.
Working full-time and homeschooling our kids is impossible. There is no shame in not doing it perfectly, but there is shame in beating ourselves up for it.
Quarantine has caused us to realize the importance of all our roles. We realize the importance of parents. We realize the importance of teachers. We realize the importance of realistic expectations.
Parents, we were asked to do something impossible—with little time to prepare. And we did the best we could. We did not fail. We are surviving the impossible, and we shouldn’t feel bad.